Chatting Pillows

Over the last few months, our little family has had a challenging time.

Bedtime also became a challenge and I was ready to pull my hair out as it seemed like sleep was a long distant dream.

One night, I said that we could do some pillow talk once Lea was tucked in bed. She was instantly intrigued and jumped straight into bed. We chatted about the day, her worries, the things she was grateful for, a funny story that had happened that day, how much she missed her Great-Grandpa, how the baby in Mommy’s tummy became an angel, our plans for the next day & where we would meet each other in our dreams that night.

This has become our favourite part of the day & something that helps us connect & feel seen & heard at the end of the day. If something upsets Lea during the day, she often brings it up again during this time as she processes her day before she sleeps.

We have always had a little chat before sleeping but at 4 and a half years old (very important to Lea that I acknowledge the half years old), Lea has the capacity to have an extensive discussion & often surprises me with the depth of her questions. I think we can often underestimate our children’s understanding when it comes to the death of a loved one & it’s so important to allow them the space to talk & grieve.

After two devastating losses in June & July, Lea started to have nightmares. I find that our pillow talk helps ease her worries & fears before she sleeps & the nightmares have stopped.

One night, Lea’s Dad asked if he could turn off the light for us & Lea quickly said not yet Dad, we still chatting pillows